Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Almost October

Four months ago, we were anxiously awaiting our court date that was scheduled for two short weeks later. Then came the abandonment investigation. Although disappointed, we understood the reasoning behind ensuring adoptions were being conducted in a lawful and ethical manner. Waiting without knowing when courts would open was tough. The anticipation and race of getting courts reopened and assigned another court date prior to the annual closure was unexplainable. The courts opened and began passing cases in late July. Although we tried our best to not get our hopes up, we were completely deflated when the courts closed again in late August without us having passed court. Blog stalking didn't work in my favor during this process. Reading day after day about families passing was discouraging to say the least. Obviously we were thrilled for those families, but I'm not going to try to kid myself or you into thinking there wasn't some jealousy there. We dreaded the closure, but when it happened, a weird peace came over us. We realized the day to day anticipation was gone. We knew there was no opportunity to be assigned a court date until October. During this time, we began receiving pictures of Gabe. Our son, that we first saw a picture at 7 weeks of age is now 8 months old. We are so grateful to have the opportunity to send him a package and get pictures of him prior to meeting him. The faith and knowledge of "it will happen when its right" and "everything happens for a reason" became our belief in the adventure of meeting our son.
But now here we are...one week before the end of September. One week before October. Two weeks before courts reopen. WE ARE THRILLED that courts will be opening and the opportunity for us to finally meet and bring Gabe home are upon us, yet something weird has happened. The feelings are coming back. The anxious, stressful and desperate need for updates and progress feelings are back. Not what I was wanting or anticipating, but here they are. Please let us get a quick court date and pass!

Why am I blogging this? I'm not quite sure. I guess you could consider it a warning label. Moody Woman on Board.

6 comments:

Jennifer said...

You rock! You captured it SO perfectly.

I said the same thing to a friend of mine about this part of the wait stage. I coined it the "stop, drop, and race" phase. The phone rings. My heart stops. Then drops. Then races. And then when I look at Caller ID and realize it is NOT my coordinater, my heart plummets, I sigh, and I reluctantly answer. The month of September was beautifully free of all of that drama and the emotions that go with it. Like you, I feel them creeping back in though. I've heard rumors that the judges will be back on Monday 9/28 "getting things in order." And maybe assigning dates? I love the idea that they may come back early, but I will truly miss the peace of mind and freedom I've felt over the past 5 weeks.

Now, back to the death grip of the cell phone.

May we hear something quickly and soon!

Marcia said...

You're in my thoughts and prayers!!
Marcia K.

Andrea Nielsen said...

I will watch out! I know that it is frustrating, but know there are lots of us praying Gabe home.

kitzkazventure said...

Awww, I feel for you all! Praying for a quick response as soon as courts open! :)

The Mom of 'em said...

Praying for you all, Michelle. I wish I could snap my fingers and get him in your arms RIGHT NOW! I know there isn't really anything to say that will make it better...take away the anxieties...but just know we are praying for you...and we can't wait to meet our new nephew/cousin. He has no idea he has been chosen to be the son of two amazing parents. Lucky, lucky boy.

The Barnett's said...

It's October!! We're praying for a quick court date for ya'll!